What Kind Of Hockey Player Do We Think Pope Francis Would Be
Earlier today we learned that Pope Franky sent a letter to the NHL praising the new “Declaration of Principles” for hockey.
Pretty cool to learn that one of the most important people on planet Earth is a huge Hockey Guy. Who do you think his favorite team is? Probably the Bruins, right? Buncha Catholics in Boston so I figure that would just be his scene. Or maybe he’s the real bad boy of the Vatican and he’s a huge Devils fan. Is there any way that he can condemn Sidney Crosby straight to hell? Feel like he has a pretty big pull with the big man above so it shouldn’t be that much to ask.
Either way, Pope Francis is a Hockey Guy through and through. He may have been born in Argentina where I don’t think they’ve even heard of ice hockey before. But hockey is for everyone and now I need to see our boy lace ‘em up and hop on the ice. Leading me to wonder–if Pope Francis played hockey, what kind of a player would he be?
Now my heart immediately wants him to be an enforcer. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody. But I just don’t think it’s in his nature to be violent. Sure, 5 minutes in the penalty box would give him enough time to confess his sins after every fight. But I still don’t see him dropping the mitts and chuckin’ knucks. On the complete other end of the spectrum, I can’t see the Pope being a solidified #1 center either. Feel like there’s way too much attention put on those types of players. He’s too selfless for that. Pope Francis is a true believer that the name on the front of the jersey means a helluva lot more than the one on the back. He’s not out there playing for himself, he’s playing for God. So scratch that off the list as well.
I don’t see Franky Boy playing the role as a grinder either. Not that I question his heart or his toughness. You put him out on the ice and he’s going to give it everything he’s got for that 45-60 second shift. Loose puck in the corner? Francis isn’t afraid to muck it up a little bit and get greasy out there. With that being said, I think he still has too much skill to just be designated as a grinder.
He’s also not your typical stay-at-home defenseman. He’s not like a regular Pope, he’s a cool Pope. Stay-at-home defenseman is too boring for him. He’s more of a mover and a shaker. The kind of Pope who is going to say that gays are good to go in the eyes of the Lord, and that all dogs are going to heaven. Which is why I’d say that Pope Francis is most likely a puck-moving defenseman. More of a new-age type of player who models his game off guys like Lidstrom and Karlsson and Doughty. We’re seeing a big influx of these types of players. Guys like Gostisbehere and Provorov in Philly. Krug and McAvoy in Boston. The #1 overall pick in 2018 is probably going to be Rasmus Dahlin from Sweden, who probably has the best hands in this draft class and plays D. They’re exciting to watch and one of the main reasons why the pace in the NHL continues to get faster. Time to add Pope Francis to that list.